A Really Long Post

This blog is slightly different from most others that I read. It really isn't a history of my family. It is a record of the less than normal parts of my life. It serves three purposes 1) It is my form of therapy to survive the daily mishaps of my life. I find myself thinking about my blog post rather than how gross/expensive/time consuming the mess that I am cleaning up is 2) Create a journal that one day I can look back and appreciate what I actually did survive and 3) Let others be amused and relieved that their life is not this insane. Oh, and let it be noted that I do have/will have scrapbooks of how great my kids are. This blog does not do justice to how much I love them and what good kids they really are.

With that said, back in November a significant insane motherhood event occurred and I realized that it is recorded nowhere. Where to record the event? My blog would be the only thing that is easy to insert things.


At Jake's 1 year appointment, I bought a round of flu shots for everyone. The nurse told me that is that fastest five flu shots she had ever given. Caleb had a fever that night and everyone else was irritable. The next morning everyone was feeling fine, just stir crazy due to being cooped up in the house the entire day previous. We headed to the library for storytime. About ten minutes in, Caleb came and sat on my lap. Slowly he stopped paying attention, laid back in my lap, and started to stare at the ceiling. I was trying to get him to sit back up and noticed that drool was coming out of his mouth and then his face started to turn blue. He then was unresponsive. I wasn't sure what to do, since my other 4 kids were sitting there with 20 other kids around. One mom noticed the panicked look on my face and came over to sit with my kids. I headed out to the hall and tried to splash water on his face. He started breathing again, but couldn't really hold his own weight. Not thinking rationally (why not ask someone to help), I went back into the room, loaded him and Abby and Jake in the triple stroller, grabbed Aly and AJ and we ran to the car and buckled everyone in. I told AJ to do whatever he had to to keep Caleb awake. AJ yelled in his ear, hit him, and pinched him while we drove to the doctor's office. In the car, I hadn't been able to get a hold of Al but I talked to my mom and we figured that since we thought it was a reaction to the flu shot and the doctor's office was right next to urgent care, I headed to the doctor. I ran into the doctor's office carrying limp Caleb in my arms and shouting to AJ to get everyone else across the street and into the office. By this point I am sobbing. The nurse leads me straight back to the doctor where she looks him over and told me that he has all the symptoms (minus the shaking) of a febrile seizure (nothing to do with the flu shot) and that I just needed to take him home and watch him. Luckily, Al was able to leave work immediately so I spent the rest of the day just holding Caleb on the couch.

Even though it was months ago, I still can vividly remember the feeling of holding that lifeless body in my arms. Parenting really is a unique experience. I still wonder why my panic mode sends me into "just do everything yourself" mode. It took me over 6 months before I went to storytime at the library again.